Memoirs of Late Nights

Its late.....

I don't know why this is... But I guess there's just a lot on my mind.

Sometimes we as people allow these racing thoughts to run through our heads non-stop...not knowing what to do with them or what to think of them. I constantly think of what is, what was, and what could have been if I just allowed the race of my thoughts to end. If I had just allowed for them to be expressed to you....or him...or her...to the "we" that used to be. If only, if only. But I guess you could say that that is all in the past and what we may do now had no impact on it...it cannot change, neither can you, and neither will my racing thoughts about you or the situation. Hours have gone by and yet and still I cannot stop these thoughts from racing. But at the same time I can't determine which thought is in the lead...which thought could be the underdog and eventually become the most prominent issue to be handle. Will one thought win over the other in order of what I would think is priority or will it just be determined by what series of events take place...by fate. I can't help but also wonder whether you do these things to get inside my mental racetrack? Is this like some psychological Indy 500 for you? What sponsorship and deals do you get out of this? Will consuming, controlling, & manipulating my thoughts be like Sprite to Kobe or Nike to Le Bron for you? My mother always said that if I didn't know the answer to a question that I should always ask. However, I've come to feel that her ever-so great advice is beginning to bite me in the butt. Because I don't know I ask questions, but when the answer is something that I didn't expect, it furthermore gets a leg into the race that's already being ran by the constant thoughts in my mind. Maybe I should just stop asking questions. If I ask no questions that give me answers that leave me either wanting to know more or disturbed to a point where I can't look you in the eye because of the level of disturbance that I'm at, then maybe there wouldn't be a constant ongoing race inside my mind; there would be no Indy 500, no Talledega Nights going on inside this thing I call my head.